Fad NO# 3: TATTOOING

It started like this: I've got a few modest tatts of my own design, my closest mates and family are also of the inked variety, and deep deep down inside I always thought it would be a pretty cool job to be a tattoo artist. A few months back I mentioned in passing that in another life I would want to be a tattooist, and the said close mates all went "Yeah, do it! You'd be great! And we can get free work done!" I pondered this for a while, decided that life is short and you should grab by the balls the things you really want... but one of the great questions of the X-Gen is HOW do you know what it is you REALLY want? So many choices - how do you narrow it to the one you feel most passionate about? I sat on the idea for a few weeks, telling lots of people that I was about to embark on an illustrious career as a tattoo artist, and that all that was standing in my way were the minor details of a folio and an apprenticeship. Hee hee! Small, trifling hurdles no?! I finally got my arse into gear to go and have a chat to an awesome tattooist I knew by old aquaintance (at Chapel Tattoo in Windsor) to find out the process of getting into the industry. After a brief, but illuminating chat, I came away feeling somewhat shaky in my resolve. I still loved the IDEA of telling people I was a tattoo artist, and of looking at tattoos that were my designs, but there was a lump in my throat at the thought of how consuming of your waking life the job seems to be, and indeed needs to be if you want to get anywhere. I kinda sat on the idea a bit more, until it dawned on me that I had begun to guiltily avoid thinking about it, wishing I had never shot my mouth off about a pipe dream to everyone who stood still in my vicinity for 30 seconds. I have the biggest mouth I know, and I'm forever digging holes for myself, and here was just another ACME port-a-hole for me to step into. I decided to acknowledge the sad fact that wanting to SAY you're something isn't the same as having the get-up-and-go to BE that something. As far as I can tell, to be a tattoo artist, you have to be bloody dedicated, passionate, hard-working and single-mindedly focused on drawing, researching and working like a dog to establish yourself. Great kudos to those out there who are living the dream! Unfortunately, I am a bit of a lazy so-and-so, and clearly too piss-weak to make it in the cut-throat world of tattooing!
But, in the spirit of taking my utter piss-weakness and using it for good, here are the handy tips I was given by the lovely lady at Chapel Tatts for getting a foot in the door (I would like to add that these are not her words precisely, but rather my two-month old memory of her advice, so please don't send Chapel Tatts angry emails if you disagree with anything... I guess you should send them to me, or even better, just think angry thoughts in my direction!):
1) Get a folio together. This needs to be hand-drawn and hand-coloured tattoo flash (artwork), ideally on an A3 illustration board. Best to use good quality markers and ink pens for black-work. Choose as broad a range of images as you can, but keep in mind that you want to infuse your own personal drawing style into the artwork. Don't just do knock-offs of other people's work. If you have a genre that you really love and are strong in, maybe make that the focus of your folio. Three or four of these A3 sheets would be a good start. Draw all the time! According to my (not very extensive) research, your typical tattoo artist will work all day; tattooing, cleaning and making up needles, booking and consulting with clients, then go home and spend all evening working on drawings for upcoming jobs.
2) Research the tattoo studios you would like to get an apprenticeship with. If there is somewhere with an artist you like, it is worth getting a tattoo done by them, preferably of your own design, so you are showcasing your own work. This will help make you more memorable to the studio when the time comes to showing them your folio, and I guess gives you an opportunity to schmooze with them a bit! If you DO get offered an apprenticeship, be careful of what you are offered. Some places apparently ask you to pay THEM, but again, my source told me that any place worth it's salt wouldn't ask that, and that although apprenticeships are getting rarer and harder to get (the market in Melbourne at least is saturated with artists, so there's not a lot of room for newbies), you should expect to get some kind of wage for your time and energy, though it will probably be pretty crap and a struggle to live on.
3) Don't buy a beginners start-up tattoo kit online and try doing it backyard-style, as tempting and grungy old-school as that might sound. The order you're better off doing things is draw draw draw until you have a folio together, go see studios, and try to get in with someone who will already have big expensive things like autoclaves (sterilisers) and needles and stuff ( I want to say 'guns', but I think that might be really un-street to say... again, clearly I'm not a natural-born tattooist!) Mind you, I still kinda like the idea of getting a kit and doing at least ONE tattoo on just myself, just to see how it went. Maybe I could be a hobby tattooist?!

I wouldn't say that the dream is entirely dead, per se, but it IS in a bit of a coma, and might come back with a floppy face and a bit of a dribbling problem. I will still design my own tatts, for other people to commit to skin, and any inky mates who want my feedback/help will happily get it (starting with my little mate from Sydney who I met in the Andes... you know who you are pet!), but I'm beginning to realise that I don't have to take every interest and whim and try and turn it into my perfect career, do I? Hello? ....Do I?

I have nasty feeling that this blog is becoming a bit of a sad litany of all the ways in which I have failed to succeed. Or it could be a monument to the 'life is too short to stay stuck in one thing' credo! (I choose the latter)