Monday, October 09, 2006
Fad no#20: The Air Kiss
I have never been good with platonic kissing. I am not a natural cheek kisser, I prefer a cheery wave myself, but I have resigned myself to the need to negotiate these social nuances. The outlaws were over on the weekend. Dan's mum is pretty matter of fact and just launches in and before I know it we have done some kind of 'mwah' business and it's over painlessly and quickly. But I have somehow created this ridiculous pantomime with Dan's dad which invloves an awkward handshake leading into some kind of cheek kiss where I do a running commentary ALOUD of how unco and clunky I am at it! Then we all laugh uncomfortably and shuffle our feet and do the 'so how about the local football team' to cover the moment. I take all the credit for this utterly farcical affair. My concern now is that I have created a rigid model of how Garry and I interact. Next time I see him, I am determined to march straight up and plant a smacker on his cheek and set the new regime as that. With not a commentary to be heard. Or I could go overboard and run towards him in slo-mo, arms wide, calling 'Garry! Garrrrryyyyy!' Really freak him out!
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4 comments:
No no, the kiss is fine. It's a natural, human thing to do. I'm just working on becoming a natural, human thing too!
You could spin your arms around wildly and then no kiss could go near you. You could declare yourself newly fanatically vegetarian and claim you are terrified of inadvertantly consuming local minute fauna that dwell on the skin (like bacteria lice or something). You could multiply pierce your lips and cheeks so you end up spkiy, scary and generally kind of daunting. You just haven't thought about this enough. You could blow kisses - Una has just learned to do it and everyone thinks she's really special and cute when she does, and who doesn't want to be special and cute?
how about a big, wet, slobbery snog right on the mouffe?
methinks that'll do it ;)
You could suck on an ice cube before they arrive, the whole cold fish lip thing should put even the most determined kisser off.
(my 5 yr old does this, drives me crazy!!)
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